baby shower etiquette guide
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hosting and inviting
The short answer is anyone can host the baby shower (except mama to be 😉). Some people have multiple showers to host a variety of people (think one for family, one for friends, maybe even one for co-workers) while others have just one and group everyone together. It’s all up to the host and the guest of honor!
Invitations will need to go out about 6 weeks before the shower date (see below for timing) and make sure you leave enough time on the RSVP cutoff date to follow up with people that don’t respond. It always happens – even though you always have to RSVP. The invitation should be addressed to whoever is invited to the shower, and include all the key information: date, time, location, etc. Do not include the registry information on the actual invitation; instead, you can include it on an additional card or the host can spread the word as people RSVP.
timing
This is totally up to the host and mama to be! Calendars and comfortability are two of the main factors. Everyone has their own lives, so picking a date can sometimes boil down to when the host and guest of honor are both available. But the timing of a baby shower is also whatever the mom is most comfortable with – some like to wait until later (32-34 weeks) while others prefer early (28-30 weeks). And there are pros and cons to doing both: having a baby shower early means mama will have more time to get organized after and she’ll most likely have more energy (plus be more comfortable) but she probably won’t be showing as much. A baby shower closer to the end of the pregnancy means she’ll definitely be showing more but gets all the discomforts that come with that (plus there’s always the risk of the baby coming early)!
gifts
Well first off — you should never show up anywhere empty-handed. Typically, the mom-to-be will register for gifts and the registry information will come either with the invitation or be provided by the host when you RSVP. And I always recommend sticking to the registry. Speaking from experience here 🤪, a lot of thought goes into a registry (of any kind) and it’s always nice to be able to check off things on the list that she decided she needed. If you must buy something that she isn’t registered for, make sure you provide a gift receipt just in case.
Opening gifts is one of the activities most common at a shower, so bringing the gift with you is recommended. However, for various reasons, it can be more beneficial to send the gift directly to the recipient instead. If that’s the case, you should still bring something with you to the shower; that can be a book for the baby, a package of diapers, or even a bottle of wine for the host.
On another yet related note — the guest of honor (that’s you mama) should also be gifting the host(s) of the party as a thank you. This can be something simple like a diffuser or your favorite cookbook, or you can go bigger like a gift box of items he/she would love or a spa day for the two of you to relax after the big day. They put a lot of thought, effort, and needless to say, money, into this party for you and a gift of appreciation is always a nice gesture.
games
Baby shower games are either loved or hated 😂. Some people think they make the shower more fun, making it feel more like a shower than just a party; while other people think they are lame and awkward (I tend to lean towards the latter). A new trend I’ve been seeing is activities instead of games, which I think is awesome. It gives the guests something to do (at least the ones that want something to do) while it doesn’t force everyone to participate. Some of my favorites: ABC Coloring Pages (and make a book out of them after the shower), Onesie Decorating Station (you can do something simple like fabric markers or get more creative with vinyl or patches), and Gift Bingo (guests play bingo while mama opens presents). Play games or don’t play games, you can’t go wrong either way.
attire
What to wear to a baby shower can be dependent on where and when it’s being held; mostly for weather reasons – if it’s outside versus inside, summer versus winter, that sort of thing. My go-to for a baby shower is always a dress of some kind. It can be short, long, midi, plain, or floral, but typically I always resort to a dress because it’s appropriate for the occasion and most importantly it’s super easy! Some other great styles if you’re in the mood for something different are a jumpsuit or a skirt. Both can be a little trendier which is always fun. I’m sharing some of my favorite styles below for you as welll!
common questions
are kids invited to a shower?
This is totally up to the host and mom-to-be! If their name(s) are listed on the envelope the invitation is addressed, then yes, they are invited! If it’s only addressed to you, then you need to leave them behind (and, of course, with a sitter if necessary).
can I have another baby shower for our second kid?
Yes and no. Every baby deserves to be celebrated, but having another full-blown baby shower is a no-go. Instead, the second celebration is typically a sprinkle – it’s basically a smaller baby shower with fewer people and gifts (so no, you don’t register for the second time). Most second-time moms have everything they need from the first shower that can be re-used the second time around. Another fun idea to celebrate your new addition is a sip + see: invite people over after the baby is born to drink wine, hang out and visit with you and the new little one.
should I still invite guests from out of town?
Yes, of course! Sometimes out of town guests can swing it to attend; but if they can’t (even if you know it already), it’s a nice way to show them you would want them to be there if they could be.
